I’ve been quiet for the last month or so. My family and I made a big move and moved 1,000 miles away from our hometown, our family, friends and everything we’ve ever known. We sold our house, packed up a few storage pods, packed my car with a car top carrier of clothes to last us the summer and headed south. We did not have a final destination in mind, and up until the last minute didn’t even have places to stay for the entire summer. But through the Grace of God, we have been more than provided for. I think deep down, I always knew where I would end up, and I always knew it would work out. And it has, better than I could have imagined and with more signs of alignment than I could ask for. My soul always knew the way, but it was up to me to believe it.
The most beautiful thing I’ve learned along the way is to trust myself, my intuition, my path and my body. To not look outside of myself for answers, to not let other people’s stories define mine, and to trust that I will be provided for in every season. I love astrology, astrology helped me find myself, understand myself, and see from a scientific standpoint why I am the way I am. Astrology helped me see patterns in my relationships and understand the lessons each individual in my life was there to teach me or I teach them. Astrology even showed me it was part of my life path to move away from home. (North Node in the 12th house). However, astrology doesn’t have all the answers. It lays a map, but it is still up to us to be the crusader and to set out to discover what feels right for us. Astrology is the flow of energy and how we use it is always up to us.
For the last five plus years I knew I wanted to move but I didn’t know where, my heart and soul did, but my mind wasn’t sure. I wrote down what I wanted in community, the house, the feel all of it, but I had no idea HOW it would happen. Then when I separated from my partner, I thought my dreams were crushed. There was NO WAY now that I could move. But I kept praying, I kept praying God would find the way, show me the perfect place for me and my family. One where their Dad could move with us, together but separate. It sounds unheard of, impossible to move states away with your ex, moving with no intentions of being husband and wife, only mom and dad. Still partners, but in a very different way. Impossible.
Over the last few years, I have visited every city south of Baltimore looking for home. I knew I wanted a city on the water, with an international airport, happy people, culture, acceptance and community. I want activities for my kids and just vibrancy all around us. As someone who is very sensitive to energy, it’s important for me to live in a place where people actually love their lives. It was very easy to rule out most every city, some even made me physically ill. Living on old burial grounds my entire life, I could tell the cities with a deep history of war and conflict were not for me. I was getting frustrated and praying to God to give me the answers, and He just kept saying “you’ll know”. I knew what he meant, yet I still wanted him to TELL me. How could I start the move without a destination to go to?
If you have ever been in a situation where you just know, you just know that’s your house, your job, your friend, or your person. You know what it feels like. It’s this deep inner stillness that despite any logic, doesn’t sway. Part of my initiation into this life was to learn to trust myself, to not pray to this outside God, who is authoritative and punishing, “father-like”, but to rather find the peaceful God within me who just wants to lovingly guide me to what’s right for me. You see, if God gave me all the answers or it was a detailed plan, written in the stars, in my birth chart then ultimately my life would not be my responsibility, which is exactly why both God and astrology are guides. They both are there to guide, provide insight, but it is always up to us to take the leap, sometimes even before we feel ready or prepared. It was always in my soul's chart I would move away from home, and while where may have been pre-destined it was still up to me to trust myself that I would find it, and to trust God and the Universe enough to leave before I knew where I was headed.
One way God communicates with me is through music, and a song he consistently plays for me is Vanessa Williams’ “Save the Best for Last”, so I knew he was saving "home" until I was there. Ready to move. Which as someone who is a planner, is very frustrating. I am a researcher, hence my love for astrology. I like to dig deep and learn everything I can about my next move, so I am prepared for any battle. Not this time. This time God required me to strip down bare to the bones and do a trust fall. With no one and nothing tangible to catch me, he stripped me of everything. Every belief, every reason, everything holding me back and he said go. Lean on me, take it a step at a time and watch it unfold. So, I did.
On New Years Day, I told my children’s father we were moving in 6 months to the day. With or without him. That I believed it was best for the children and myself. I told him I believed in God’s vision over my life so strongly I was willing to separate us, if need be, although I did not want to. Keeping my children with their dad is important to me, but ultimately following God’s calling will always outweigh any human attachment I have. I started packing our house, day by day, room by room, and then one day we got an offer. Exactly as I wanted, easy and without the hassle of listing our home. It just so happened to be when the eclipse was in my 4th house, house of roots and family. It was divinely orchestrated but up to me to accept the offer and take a leap. With no place to go, we sold our house and had 70 days to find home. Only problem was, where was that? (Side note, we closed exactly 6 months from that initial conversation on New Years).
Over those 70 days, I kept praying, and God kept remaining silent. I prayed for the resources, wisdom, and plan to be given to me so I could make this work as stress-free as possible. In any other time in my life having a clock ticking on the roof over my children’s head would send me into a full-blown panic. But this time it didn’t, I had so much peace wash over me I knew I was being led by God. I knew any hurdle I would overcome and just like every other time in my life, He would take care of the details. As each day went on, and answers didn’t come, my faith strengthened. I trusted God isn’t a punishing God, but a loving God. I knew if I listened to the God within me, I would find the way. I spent every last dime I had getting us ready to move, hiring movers, storage pods, house repairs, and lining up a hotel, and our first air bnb. I had a plan for the first week post house closing, but what after that? Where will we stay, what will we do? God told me there was one more place for our us to visit, so at the last minute I booked a second air bnb in a second location and trusted if he was taking me to a brand-new place (one I had researched for a decade) it was for a reason. I had a slight fear this second location still might not be it, and we would eventually add more cities to the list, but deep in me, I knew. I knew this second stop was going to be it. We were going home.
As soon as we pulled within an hour of our second location, my children and I all just exhaled. We knew we were home. Within 48 hours we found our actual home, one with signs that I can’t even explain in this post, and everything started falling into place. Releasing my fear of the unknown and trusting the goodness of God was all He required of me. My God required me to purify my heart and only be led by the God that lives within me, to allow room for the Holy Spirit to fill my soul and not be tempted by what everyone else thought, what my money said, or what my fear/ego thought to be true. Most people don't ever get to the good part because they stay stuck in all the what-ifs, they won't take the first step without seeing where they are going first, and life doesn't work like that. You have to walk first before you see the road ahead. You have to leave before you can go.
Often times are views of God are of a man who lives outside of us, that controls us, punishes us, and gets disappointed in us. None of that is true. God is a part of you, it’s your heart, your breath, your connection to the infinite possibilities all around you. God is an energy, but it is not punishing, only redirecting you. When you get in alignment with yourself, learn to trust yourself as a crusader of your own life, and step fully into the power of you, your life will unfold in magnificent ways. The key is to learn to trust that you are a part of this infinite creation and that you have a dream life to live. One where you are worthy of everything not because you have done anything to prove it, yet just because you are. You are a child of God, and that alone makes you worthy. It’s a frequency that if we all embody, we can absolutely shift the frequency of this planet. It’s our diving assignment.
Imagine-you were created for something BIG and all it takes is to be yourself. That alone should tell you just how powerful you are, how much the God within loves you. God made the impossible happen for me, and He will for you too. He not only found home in both the literal and figurative sense, for my children and I, but as of next week their father will join us to start the search for his home. Together, but separate. Mom and dad, making the impossible, possible and creating a whole new life for their children. I prayed that this move would be for the highest good of all, myself, my children, their Dad, my family and community. I believe he is answering those prayers.
This next chapter for all of us is about alignment, abundance, and relishing in gifts God has bestowed within and all around us. The impossible is never impossible when you have faith you are the creator of your life, your heart is pure, and you are in alignment with your soul. What you believe will manifest, good or bad, so focus on what you can control, release what you can't to God, and let him work out the details. Miracles are everywhere when you realize you are living proof.
We have a full moon in Capricorn coming up, just in time for the Summer Solstice. This is a great time to dig deep into gratitude, faith, and action. Use the energy of the planets to align you to your highest timeline. The current will always carry you somewhere, you either fight it, or learn how to paddle. Trust you are going for a ride either way.
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